A Return to Blogging

I admit it- I have not been in the mood to blog at all lately. Perhaps it is because I just spent the last 2+ years writing paper upon paper for school and now that I'm finally done (YAY!) I really want to do nothing productive with my computer. I've been spending a lot of time viewing Black Friday ads online and patrolling Facebook but other than that, I've been avoiding the computer. So, my apologies. I was actually going to write a sort of "catch up"  blog and post some Halloween pictures, etc. However, I have a much more important message to get across today. Several weeks ago, one of Anna's close friends, Gloria, was diagnosed with Leukemia. Anna and Gloria have somewhat grown up together as her family has lived directly behind us for the entire time we have owned our home. They also have a son who is the same age as Alex so the kids have spent the past few summers hanging out at one house or the other. This news has devastated Anna and given us a renewed appreciation for how fragile life really is. We have been praying for them since we found out and attempting to help in any way we can. They have recently set up a website asking for donations to help fund Gloria's medical care. Because of the nature of her illness and the amount of treatments she will need (a total of about two and a half years of chemo) one of them will need to be home with her pretty much full time for the first six  months. This means that they are going from a dual income household to a single income household along with trying to pay for all of the co-pays, medications, etc. I know that most of you have never met Gloria or her family and it's hard to think about donating to someone you don't know. However, you ALL know me and know that I would not ask for money for something that I didn't truly believe was going to make a difference. I know that Anna is looking at selling some of her toys and/or clothes to make some money to donate. We will be eliminating a few Christmas gifts on our list and making a donation instead. If you can find a way to donate even a small amount to them I know that they would be extremely grateful. The link is : http://www.gofundme.com/abjn4 If not, keeping them in your prayers is also appreciated. This Thanksgiving, there is no question what we are grateful for in our home-healthy, energetic, trouble making kids. Here are just a few pics of Gloria that I had from this past year.

 (yes, they are wrapping me up in toilet paper- making me into a mummy!)

Giant ice cream cones by the pool (yes Sarah is wearing boy's underwear as her swimsuit- it's a third child thing :)

Stationery card

Wall Of Memories Christmas Card

Shutterfly Christmas cards.

View the entire collection of cards.

Lost

We are officially into Fall. I love Fall,  it is definitely my favorite season. I hate it for what comes after it, but the festivities of Fall are still my favorite. This year, I thought it would be fun to do a corn maze with the kids. Alex and Anna had done a mini one several years ago but never a full fledged, get lost in the field corn maze. So, we bought our tickets and headed in. It took me about 30 seconds to realize that doing a corn maze with 3 children and 2 adults is a really bad ratio. All 3 wanted to go in different directions and at times we just had to choose which child to lose (it was usually Alex as he is best fit to survive in the wild based on his dedicated viewing of man vs wild). If I must admit it, it was about 20 minutes of pure parent anxiety and a bit of panic. Sounds fun, huh? The worst part- we actually PAID to do this- we paid someone money to make us feel like we were going to lose our children in a field and make us choose which ones we would keep. I think that this Fall festivity is one that we won't need to do again for a long time.........

Ups and downs

Do you ever have one of those parenting moments that actually makes your stomach turn? The kind where you would give anything to have a screaming infant again? Yep, I said it- screaming, colicky infants are easier than lying, stealing, grown up third graders. I knew it was coming, I knew we would have to face this. But, I didn't want to, still can't say I have handled it completely. It's not over, it's just the beginning. The start of new questions and harder issues and a sort of loss of innocence. And we can't make it stop :( Alex knows. He knows there is no Santa, no Easter bunny and no tooth fairy. He doesn't believe in fairy tales and there is no such thing as magic. My baby boy is gone. He has been replaced with a conniving, lying, stealing third grader who doesn't "need" any of that stuff. It all happened after we received the second call from his teacher since school started (yes, that is correct, school has only been in session for 3 weeks). He had been caught sneaking out of class to buy candy bars (with stolen money from his sisters piggy bank) and then lied to the candy bar seller by telling her that his teacher sent him to get it. He then threw away his I-care plan (basically a report letting his parents know when he gets in trouble). We found out about it from a call from the teacher. Not the way you want to start the school year. So, I decided to have a discussion with him (again) about lying in which I made the example of saying that his dad and I dont lie about things. He stared at me for a second and then it happened- "well, actually, you have lied to us about Santa, the Easter bunny and the tooth fairy because you said they are real but it's really you guys". And the girls looked at us and we lied again(I know, I think we may really have a problem). I later had a talk with Alex and tried to get him to understand that he needed to keep the magic alive for his sisters no matter what he believed in. We'll see. He's not good at secrets so I have a feeling that Anna will also be a non-believer as well.

On an up note, Alex asked to play Chutes and Ladders before he went to bed. It has been years since I've played that game. I think, somewhere, he knew that he is on the verge of growing up and it was his way of being a little boy again, if only for a few minutes....

First Day Back

Yep, school is back in session. Second and Third grades, here they come! I tried (really) to get some good back to school pictures, but sometimes the subjects have their own agenda (aka "hurry up mom someone is going to see us" and "please tell me you aren't walking us to the bus stop again"). It's good they are growing up but bad that it means they want (and need) us less. On a positive note, they both came home with everything they left with. Overall, day one was a success :)

In case you are wondering, I thought it would be brilliant to have them hold up the number of fingers representing what grade they are in (ya know for when I'm old and have no idea what age they were!). In the end it just looks like Alex is making some weird gang symbol and giving me the look like he'd rather be rolling around in dog poop than participating in my picture session. Oh well, you win some and you lose some.....

Life on the Lake

For a week this summer we were able to pretend like we had a "house on the lake". A cabin. A retreat. Our own wooded sanctuary. We rented a house via vacation rental by owner (vrbo.com). Highly recommend it. Way more relaxing than a resort- everything was right there and we had the whole place to ourselves!  The kids had a great time, caught lots of fish, tubed, swam and roasted more marshmallows than any one person should probably eat in a year. But, it was vacation and it was just what we needed!

On "Being Lucky"

Since the decision to become a one-income family about 6 years ago, I have been called "lucky" more times than I can recall. Mostly because Chris is home with the kids and we are "lucky" to have someone there for the kids and "lucky" to not have to worry about missing work because of sick kids and "lucky" to have no daycare fees or hassles. In almost all respects, I agree. But, it wasn't "luck" necessarily. It was a conscious decision to raise our children a certain way with one parent home and no day care. It just happened to be me that had (has) the better paying, more stable employment and thus that left Chris to stay home with the kids. However, along with this concscious choice came other, harder, decisions. For the most part, we live a very comfortable life. Our kids have everything they need and lots of things they want. We are able to go out on occasion and we are able to take the occassional (infrequent) low budget vacation. We have food on the table and gas in the car. We allow our kids to play sports and participate in other (expensive) recreational activities. But, overall, financial decisions are much harder when there is only one income to rely on. It takes a lot longer to build up a savings account and seems to diminish that much quicker when things come up. In all reality, money is tight. We live on a budget and we are forced to stick to that. It isn't always fun and it doesn't always feel "lucky". Recently, our beloved dog Jazz got into a bit of a medical predicament. He ate a bone (whole). This caused him to be unable to keep any food (and eventually water) down as it was lodged in his stomach- too big to come out either way. Sitting in the vet's office, staring at the x-ray, we were faced with one of the hardest decisions we have ever had to make. Surgery would fix this problem, but that would cost between $700 (if it came out easily) and up to $1500 or more depending on the damage that the bone may have caused. The vet did not feel that doing nothing was a viable option and said that if we did nothing it would likely get caught in his intestines and rip a hole causing him to have extreme pain and likely go into shock. In that moment, we had to decide if we were going to spend an undetermined amount in order to save him or if we were going to stick to the budget. And, we chose the financially responsible, mortgage paying, grocery buying, school supply shopping route. And it sucked. It still sucks. The kids are crushed, our house is quiet and there is a hole in all of our hearts. I know that most people probably don't understand this decision and there are some who will call us mean and callous. I understand that because it felt mean. It was not a decision that was taken lightly. It wasn't done in order to be mean or selfish (although believe me it felt that way). It was just one of the unfortunate side effects of our decision to have a one-income household. And so, being "lucky" isn't always what it's cracked up to be. Sorry Jazz- you were a good boy and we will all miss you!